Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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