What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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