return my video game
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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