I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
