they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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