that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
