Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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