Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
