You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
