id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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