i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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