You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
