I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
