Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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