New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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