can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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