Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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