So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
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Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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