Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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