DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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