How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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