Cold hands, warm shart.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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