hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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