If i come over, it means nothing
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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