morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
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i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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