this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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