he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
