So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
