They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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