now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
