my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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