I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
