somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
The uberlube is also flammable
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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