we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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