that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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