dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
