At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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