whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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