I'm lost and stupid without you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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