i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
