when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
