But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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