I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
