Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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