Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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