How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
