Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
