No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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