Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
