Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
