she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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