party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
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Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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