If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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