i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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