yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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